No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
