dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
