do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
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