Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
