just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
His nipple licking is glorious
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