I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
