Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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