Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
