Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
