I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
