girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't put those talents on a resume
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
