This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
