the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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