What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
