I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
