South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I deserve this hangover.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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