If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
