and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
