Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I looked at my own cervix.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
