I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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