Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do vagina's smell?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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