My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Mom said you looked used
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
