brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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