she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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