She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
