Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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