haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
