im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
