You just made me feel so damn special
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
