so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Come on in and take your pants off
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