I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
