Dual....:-)
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She bit a glass in half.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
