I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
