she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
