I smell stomach acid.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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