He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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