You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
