Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
