2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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