so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
