North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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