im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
