im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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