4 words: hood of his car
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
