There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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