you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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