im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
