white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think people are normalizing furries
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
