This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
