how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
